As It Comes….I Will Remain … Schanntel

I slept beside my enemy for four years.

I shared my body, my soul, my deepest secret—the kind only me and God knew.
And he took it all and turned my openness into numbness.
My joy into pain.
My past into a weapon he used without hesitation.

Love? What love?

From the beginning, it was the hate you gave. The venom that poured from your mouth.
Six months in, I was already every name in the book—so much so that I started to answer to them.
I looked around for someone to stand up for me…
but no one came.

So I folded into the shell you built for me.
And I wore it like skin.
Until I started to see the cracks.
The cracks in your love, your smile, your touch.
And once I saw them—I couldn’t unsee them.

I told you.
I begged you.
Stop fake loving me so I can go find someone who truly will.

Why are you holding me hostage with your hurt?
Your words, your actions—they don’t just hurt my heart.
They hurt who I am.

So this is goodbye.

Not with grace, not with kindness—but with truth.
You were never love.
Just a mirror of my pain,
and I refuse to keep bleeding for someone who enjoys the sight.

From this moment on, I’m choosing me.