As It Comes….I Will Remain … Schanntel

It’s always someone else’s fault when you stop loving yourself. It’s easier to blame others, to convince yourself that you can’t fix it on your own.

When life doesn’t go your way, it’s always because of someone else. You become a victim of their words, their actions, their failures. There’s always an external reason why you’re unhappy, why things aren’t right, why you feel unseen.

You hold the truth like a weapon, ready to strike back at those who hurt you, your presence itself a challenge to those who never saw your worth.

But I’ve realized—I’ve spent so much time placing blame on everyone but myself. I never took responsibility for my own part in this narrative. I never admitted that I was wrong, that I was unfaithful to my own soul, that I hurt others because I felt hurt, played, and overlooked.

I thought it was my right to get even, to make you feel the weight of what I felt. My anger became a shield, and my past created a monster to protect me from the pain.

Now, I sit with this truth: What truly makes me happy? Who am I when I’m not defined by being a wife or a mother? Who am I when the roles I’ve played for so long fall away? I’ve spent years running from that question, but today I’m listening to my own voice, hearing the truth out loud.

At my age, I’m still learning what fills me up, what truly makes me smile—not the forced smiles, not the distractions. I’m learning to love myself again, to discover who I am beyond the wounds and the blame.

I am finding peace in this journey, choosing growth over bitterness, self-love over sabotage. I want to see myself happy, successful, rich in spirit, and unapologetically free.